BOB Gear Challenge : A Journey to Healing

Legs on fire, I gripped the stroller handlebars tightly as I pushed nearly 100 pounds of kids, snacks, and BOB up the hill. My heavy heart pounded harder and harder with each step and threatened to burst out of my chest. A flood of tears spilled down my cheeks, an unbridled response to the physical and emotional overwhelm I felt through my entire body. The grief over the death of my brother only weeks prior weighed me down tremendously. My boys rode happily up the hill, their eyes peeled for the birds and rabbits startled by the sound of our hardy wheels on the gravel underfoot. With the exception of the occasional car below us, Garden of the Gods felt unusually quiet. At long last, we made it to the top of the hill. We rounded a corner, broke through the grove of scrub oak, and came into full view of the red rock formations below. I paused at an overlook for a moment to catch my breath and take in the beautiful sight. Time stood still for a few seconds, just long enough for the boys to get a little antsy in the motionless stroller. Four-year-old Luke asked sweetly if we could keep going, so on we went. The sweat on my forehead and the pumping blood in my veins helped to slowly release some of the pressure in my chest. With each full breath of fresh air, I could feel the muscles in my face, neck, and upper back relax a bit more. The rhythm of my footsteps calmed my racing mind just enough to allow the endorphins to start to work their positive magic. My boys rode happily down the hill, completely oblivious to the pain I felt. I gripped the stroller handlebars tightly as I eased the three of us down and back into the trees. “I will be okay,” I said quietly to myself, as tears continued to roll down my cheeks. “We will all be okay.” April’s Hike it Baby 30 and our BOB Gear Challenge gave my family the extra boost to get outside and seek comfort and healing on the trails in the wake of my brother’s unexpected passing early last month. Some days were easy; other days required every bit of strength I could gather just to get us out the door. The goal of 30 off-road stroller miles gently pushed me outside on those tough days. My boys and I logged our miles in many different places and with different groups over the course of the month. We strolled with their dad, with my dad, with dear Hike it Baby friends, and on our own. We strolled beside the ocean, beneath impressive rock formations, through the trees, and along the creekside that divides some of our local neighborhoods. I will hold many of these stroller hikes close to my heart for a very long time. There is something miraculously therapeutic about simply putting one foot in front of the other. Sadness, stress, and overwhelm begin to lose their power with the very first step. If you are grieving, if you are troubled, or if you are overcome, gather up every last drop of strength you have and head outside. Comfort and healing can be found beside the ocean, beneath the trees, and on the tops of mountains. Be sure to read Jessie's initial post about her journey and the BOB Gear Challenge : A Journey to Healing.

Welcome to Part 2 of a three part series from our guest blogger, Mary Finley! Mary Shares her story of raising her kids to be outdoorsy through all of the challenges and changes that life has thrown their way.  Missed Part 1? Check it out here! Having spent much of our own childhood enjoying nature and the outdoors, I knew when I gave birth to my son in 2001 I wanted us to be active in the outdoors as much as possible. We spent the days of his early childhood enjoying long hikes and enjoying running free in nature without a care in the world. If this sounds a bit too easy and natural of a transition to parenting outdoors, it’s partly because it turned out to be exactly that. I had raised a mini-me with my dad’s love of the great outdoors. For my son, it was in his blood. Eight years later, I was married to someone new, and living on a rural property twenty minutes from the Shenandoah entrance station I was excited to be expecting my second child, a baby girl! I envisioned us, girl power style, hiking all those same trails, her brother leading the way! Funny things happen when you think you’ve mastered parenting. You get a second child… I found myself once again coming off bedrest, but this time I was also injured from a difficult birth experience (breech births are not mom friendly) and now with an active eight-year-old and a newborn. I will spare you the levels of difficulty it took to get through that first year, but know that if you are a struggling new mom, you are not alone, and you will get through this, mostly because you can and every day the sun rose I got up and forced myself to keep going. Days turned into months, and slowly I crept toward the end of the hardest year of parenting I had faced. I slowly began being able to walk further, this time using the stroller as a walker helping me creep toward normalcy rather than running through a natural recovery like I did the first time. See, that’s the thing about parenting. Each and every experience is unique. We all trudge through our mental and physical struggle and balance it with the days we soar on parenting victories. In our best moments we create a village of other parents who lift each other up and create a community of love and support, and let’s be honest, on our worst days we criticize, judge, and struggle to continue, and all too often that criticism and judgment falls on ourselves as well as others. Each day we get through and pick ourselves back up and recommit to that community of love and support, to and for ourselves as well as others, we win. That includes forgiveness and acceptance. Something that took a long time to get a hang of for myself, coming off the birth of my second child. I had to accept what I could and couldn’t do physically and forgive and accept what life had handed me. Slowly but surely, it came, and with it a greater depth of complicated understanding of myself, parenting, and life. By the time my daughter was school aged, I had recovered enough physical ability to start hiking again. In those in between years, I satisfied myself with long drives to overlooks where I could still see out at the world I loved to hike and explore, desperately waiting and working slowly toward a time where I could physically do it again. If you are new to getting outside, or physically easing into or back into physical exercise, don’t give up. Start small, it will come slowly, but in time you will amaze yourself. Slowly that time came for me, and it coincided with the realization that my oldest was suddenly going to be in dual enrollment soon (the last two years of high school taken with community college credits). It was now or never to fulfill those dreams I had of traveling, van life style, with my kids. Seeing all the world had to offer, sleeping under the stars, and hiking across new unseen places. I discussed it with their dad (my second child’s biological father). He was a teacher working full time, we had a dog, and truthfully, obligations, but I had switched to homeschooling my kids several years earlier and it appeared it was now or never. We got his blessing, and he begrudgingly agreed to walk the dog as soon after work as possible, water the plants, and basically make sure the house was still standing upon our return. Their dad had agreed, with the promise that we would be back by his birthday, June 3rd. I discussed it with my mom and am privileged to have the most adventurous parents ever. My mom’s response was, admittedly, not typical of most parents, but so typical of mine. She responded, “You are finally going to travel again!!! I didn’t think I’d ever get you back out on the road. What can I do to help? I know! You are turning 40! How about I give you gas money for your trip and maybe a bit to stock food? I am so glad you are finally going to do something again!” I wasn’t expecting to get called out for my struggle with recovery, fear that I wouldn’t physically be able to do it anymore, and my fight with anxiety and depression over my recovery after the birth of my daughter that had dragged on for years, but her financial support meant my “dream” trip had suddenly become a reality trip. Stay tuned for the final installment of Mary's story!   ABOUT OUTGROWN OutGrown is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that works to create a world where everyone can enjoy the physical and mental benefits of spending time outside. We are focused on creating opportunities and removing barriers to access so families with babies and young children can take their first steps outside. We believe all families have the right to connect with nature, benefit from spending time outdoors and be inspired to a lifelong love of nature. Since its grassroots inception in 2013, OutGrown is a growing community of 280,000 families and over 300 volunteer Branch Ambassadors. More information on all of our programs can be found at WeAreOutGrown.org    EDITORS NOTE: We hope you enjoyed reading this article from OutGrown. We’re working hard to provide our community with content and resources that inform, inspire, and entertain you. But content is not free. It’s built on the hard work and dedication of writers, editors, and volunteers. We make an investment in developing premium content to make it easier for families with young children to connect with nature and each other. We do not ask this lightly, but if you can, please make a contribution and help us extend our reach.